KAREN LEE FOR MAYOR
2/13/07
(photo by Kevin Sprague)
“2007 is going to be the year of the Bond Girl.”
My fabulous firecracker red curly-haired dynamo friend Karen Lee told me this the other day. She’s talking about the "007" thing. She said she wants to become a spy. Not a real spy, but like a really sexy snoop in hot pants. So, naturally, Scribby and I have put her on staff at the Starving Artists Detective Agency. She and I are already on a case together, in fact.
But I say the real theme for 2007 is emblazoned in a sign in the very window of K-Lee’s Pilates studio on Church Street. “Karen Lee For Mayor” it says in bright red letters. Yes, that’s right. It’s not the year of the Bond Girl. It’s the year of the Politics Girl.
This is a good opportunity to issue a warning to all the unsuspecting men out there. In case you haven’t heard, women are taking over. We’re not fitting into any neatly tucked away boxes anymore. We’re everywhere. We’re in your most guarded and perverse fantasies . . . we’re in your most hellish and frightening psychological nightmares. We’re making your hash browns in the morning and we’re investing money from your portfolio in the afternoon. We gave birth to you, for Pete’s sake. We know what your dirty diapers looked like because we know what all babies’ dirty diapers look like. They’re friggin’ disgusting. We know everything. We know what you’re thinking. And we know you don’t know what we’re thinking. We move with the moon, we’re impulsive, and then again we have the capability of being the most calculating, patient, and keenly manipulative creatures on the planet. We have a sixth sense. We know when you’re lying. We also have control over certain of your body parts. And you can’t live without us. As you told us in high school, you could die if we won’t let you go to third base. That little tidbit of information, that very sincere and honest piece of information, we’ve tucked away and used to our benefit ever since. We’re ahead of you in line at the voting booth. We’re installing countertops in your kitchen. We’re caulking your shower stall. We’re performing prostate surgery on you and transplanting your kidneys. And you can’t depend on shoulder pads and butch business attire to signal to you which ones of us are intellectual threats to you any more. You think that women wearing practically nothing in Maxim magazine don’t speak three languages and also have a PhD in Astrophysics? You're wrong. We’re out of the box, baby. We’re governing states. And we’re even heading up Congress.
And you’re STILL gonna die if we don’t let you get to third base.
2007 is the year that the old saying “who wears the pants in that house?” is going to be replaced with “looks like she’s finally wearing the skirt in the house,” and that’s gonna mean she’s a real triple threat.
Somehow all this makes me want to howl. But I’ll spare you from that.
(photo by Marc Andrew Weiner)
Instead of howling, I decided to celebrate the year of gals in politics by visiting K-Lee, mayoral hopeful, at her Pilates studio. Not like I ever want to pass up an opportunity to tone my body now that I’m not 19 anymore. But working out with K-Lee at her studio, Pilates Central, is more than just a work out for the body. She is, in the truest sense, a triple threat. Brains, body, and raw bimbopolitics. To find her all you have to do is walk down Church Street and listen for the tinkling of bells. You might catch a glimpse of her bright yellow SUV, or her shocking curly red hair. You might just catch a glimpse of her sparkling aura, her mystique, her ultra-violet glow. She is a pilates queen, sensual life guru to the rich and famous, magic maker, actress, dancer, choreographer, and also claims that she is a real life fairy. Oh, and she is also running for mayor. Just look for the Karen Lee for Mayor sign in her window......
To hear Jacooz and K-Lee’s pilates session, including the real explanation of the Karen Lee for Mayor sign, K-Lee’s enactment of her theory of evolution, and other intellectual and fantastical discussions and debates, listen to the Bimbopolitics radio show by clicking the below icon. (Bimbopolitics airs on 97.7fm Great Barrington, Mass. every 2nd and 4th tues. from 5-5:30pm and is available for syndication at your local station by contacting jacooz@bimbopolitics.com.)
2/13/2007
Hot hot hot hot new show, Jacooz, I LOVE it!! Next time I'm putting on my i-pod for when I go roller blading. You go, bimbo.
2/14/2007
Delectable! I love the spontaneity and feeling a part of the "girlfriend talk." I think each guest should present you with a gift of their choice...its a fun thing to share with one another and the listening audience, much the way women exchange their favorite recipe. I love listening to Ben the Handyman's sexy voice and his male perspective ...more sexual tension between Jacooz and Ben in the future? That's something I would definitely tune in for! Great jazz music!
An adoring fan
